Mississippi Drivel, Issue 6: The Legend of Jefferson Pilot
I revisit one of SEC football's greatest eras, and schedule a season's worth of 11 am nightmare games in a brand new weekly edition...
As discussed in the latest emergency edition of the Drivel, on Monday, the Southeastern Conference released their 2020 schedule, which due to the COVID-19 pandemic had to be amended to conference-only play. The Big Ten and Pac-12 are no longer playing football, decisions I discussed in Issue 5. Since I live in Mississippi, where there’s still football to be played, I’m not going to dwell on the sociopolitical aspects of those cancellations any more than I did in last week’s issue—I likely went into enough detail on it for everyone reading. Anyway, for those of you who are new, or those of you who missed the emergency edition, here is the 2020 conference-only schedule in all its glory:
There’s a great deal to unpack here—namely, some significant rivalry games not being played on the final weekend of the season in favor of keeping them on Thanksgiving weekend, Arkansas playing a schedule that may literally leave them at 0-10, Mike Leach and Mississippi State visiting Tuscaloosa on Halloween (which I’m hoping will result in him dressing up as a pirate, eyepatch and all, on the sidelines just to infuriate Nick Saban), and Texas A&M also getting boned by the scheduling process. No one cares about A&M, though—they can afford to pay head coach Jimbo Fisher $75 million over 5 years and build entire apartments for their athletic boosters to come stay in during home football weekends. They’ll be fine.
This week’s feature presentation, however, is a step into the time machine of SEC sports—a simpler time, when the graphics weren’t so sharp, and the camera work wasn’t cutting-edge, and there wasn’t such a thing as Twitter. I can only imagine the memes if social media had existed in its current form in those times. I’m talking about the era of SEC sports sponsored by Jefferson Pilot Financial—which owned the rights to one SEC broadcast game every fall Saturday at 11 a.m. Central Standard Time for the formative football watching years of my young life. (Or, as parent company Raycom Sports’ history terms it, from 1992 to 2007—and in 2006, as some of you may recall from watching the broadcasts—Jefferson Pilot merged with Lincoln Financial. The graphics got tweaked a little, but they still looked largely the same. Coming from a State fan, one of the most insane Egg Bowls of all time (2007) was played under the Lincoln Financial logo. After that, during the 2008 season, the Game of the Week was played under the Raycom Sports logo, but it never lost that Jefferson Pilot touch.
My point being: If you’re an SEC football fan, and you remember the above logo, you’ve seen a few things, man. Beyond the graphics and the camera work, there were the analysts—who we’ll fondly refer to as the “Daves". Dave Neal and Dave Rowe in the booth, and sideline analysis from Dave Baker. (David Archer took over for Rowe late in the run of the Game of the Week show, when he had to step aside due to ill health.)
The Daves (Neal and Rowe, left to right)
These broadcasts were usually relegated to the bottom of the pecking order for SEC matchups, games that figured to be blowouts or lesser teams, because the networks grabbed choice matchups for primetime. (So that’s why I watched so many mid-2000s Egg Bowls on Jefferson Pilot. No wonder.) Anyway, this did occasionally make for some good entertainment, because sometimes, the big teams would show up unprepared and unmotivated for an 11 am kick—and that left an opening for the little guys to swoop in and steal one. One of the most well-known Jefferson Pilot games is the 2002 Bluegrass Miracle, in which heavily favored #16 LSU fended off a comeback from unranked Kentucky in Lexington and won 33-30 on a last-second, 74-yard desperation heave from Marcus Randall to Devery Henderson after the Kentucky players had already emptied Gatorade onto coach Guy Morriss:
Note the absolutely horrific graphics and camera work: 1) the score does not change after Henderson runs in the winning touchdown—to be fair, the scorekeeper probably fell out of his chair; 2) the camera is everywhere yet nowhere at once—LSU players mobbing each other but we can’t see if it’s in the end zone or back where Randall threw the football, the fans at some vague area in the stands; 3) probably the technology’s fault, but I couldn’t even tell where the ball was until Henderson broke free with it, I barely could tell it had been thrown but for the camera moving downfield. Just a complete and utter garbage festival, and it’s beautiful. Kentucky fans tore down a goalpost in one end zone as LSU players celebrated in the other.
Sloppy camera work notwithstanding, Dave Neal does a magnificent job on this call, and he remains one of the most talented and underrated announcers still working today. I think it’s safe to say most anyone who watches or listens to games today would probably agree with that take. He was the best part of these broadcasts and I’m always happy to hear him on TV nowadays.
All of that said, I have one mission this week, and it is to take the 11 weeks of 2020 SEC football and find one game each week that is OPTIMAL Jefferson Pilot viewing. Whether it’s a rivalry, a potential upset, or a good, old-fashioned rear-end kicking that you can fall asleep to in your La-Z-Boy, I’ll have you covered. So let’s settle in and see what sort of hidden treasure we can find.
WEEK 1: September 26
Jefferson Pilot Game of the Week: Tennessee @ South Carolina
I already previewed this game in the emergency edition, and I know I said it should be the 2:30 CBS game because these two teams are evenly matched, and I maintain that belief, at least in a world without Jefferson Pilot Sports. However, this matchup is tailor-made for the Daves to call, and just think of the opportunities for the sideline camera crew to get ample closeups of Will Muschamp absolutely losing his mind at the referees. It’s my opinion that you should give the people what they want, and in this case what the people want is more Angry Will Muschamp gifs for Twitter. Jefferson Pilot’s camera crew could be very useful in this regard. Tennessee wins this one by a field goal, 17-14, and Muschamp somehow fights Jimbo Fisher’s nephew after the game. Don’t ask me how the nephew gets there, in the SEC it just means more.
WEEK 2: October 3
Jefferson Pilot Game of the Week: Arkansas @ Mississippi State
The Razorbacks get their chance to root for truffles early on in this schedule with a visit to Starkville, in what will be new coach Mike Leach’s home debut. The Bulldogs will likely be licking a few wounds after a tough road game in Baton Rouge, and it’s possible they’ll be looking ahead a bit to their next game against Kentucky. It’s not likely this game will have huge upset potential, because the teams are not very evenly matched, but Arkansas QB Feleipe Franks does at least know what it’s like to win in Starkville—he quarterbacked Florida to a 13-6 victory there in his last appearance in 2018. This one is a stinker that no network would want to pick up and it’ll likely be shelved on ESPN+ or ESPNU somewhere, but back in the day we’d have been able to turn on Channel 4 and there it’d have been, where it belonged. I like the Bulldogs in this one, but it’ll be more fun than we’re expecting—Mississippi State 42, Arkansas 20.
WEEK 3: October 10
Jefferson Pilot Game of the Week: Alabama @ Ole Miss
If there’s one thing Nick Saban hates, it’s 11 am road games, and if there’s anyone he hates, it’s Lane Kiffin. This rivalry has yielded some absolutely torrid matchups in recent years, especially in the Ole Miss glory years of 2014 and 2015 when Hugh Freeze’s underdog Ole Miss teams took it to the nationally-ranked Tide, back to back. The 2014 game was a special bit of madness—College Gameday was in Oxford with Katy Perry as a special guest, Bo Wallace threw two touchdown passes in the final six minutes, and Senquez Golson redeemed himself from being just the guy who Trent Richardson juked twice in one play by making the game-sealing pick off Blake Sims in the end zone. The 2015 game did its best to top 2014’s for silliness, with Alabama turning it over 5 times in all and Ole Miss QB Chad Kelly living up to his “Machine Gun” nickname by slinging footballs all over Tuscaloosa, including one insane 66-yard touchdown pass that went off the helmet of Alabama strong safety Minkah Fitzpatrick and directly into the hands of Quincy Adeboyejo. The Rebels made another run at the Tide in 2016, with a 48-43 shootout in Oxford, before Freeze was fired and NCAA sanctions put the program under water. Kiffin is looking to make things interesting again though, and his prior rivalry with Saban makes this one to watch, even if the teams don’t match up so well. I like the Tide in this one, although the Lane Train might make it the slightest bit more interesting to watch. Alabama 45, Ole Miss 24.
WEEK 4: October 17
Jefferson Pilot Game of the Week: Vanderbilt @ Missouri
Mizzou is almost always a hard team to read, and even more so this year, with a brand new coach and no established returner at QB. Kelly Bryant has graduated, but the Tigers return a great many starters on defense, as well as another grad transfer QB in Shawn Robinson, who is competing for the starting nod. Coach Eli Drinkwitz, who was hired after guiding Appalachian State to a 13-1 record, has stated that he will not be naming a starting QB until the week of the Tigers’ first game. Contrary to what you might believe, given Vandy’s history as a program, this series is not lopsided—Mizzou has only blown the Commodores out twice since rejoining the SEC in 2012. By Vandy’s standards, that’s okay. The W-L stands at 5-3 in Mizzou’s favor since 2012, and Vandy won last year’s game 21-14 in Nashville in what would have been a perfect Jefferson Pilot Upset—the Tigers were ranked #22 and looking ahead, no doubt, to tougher opponents. They went on to lose the next four in a row after this one. This will be a revenge game, but I like a young Vandy team to pull the upset card once again. Commodores take this one, 20-16.
WEEK 5: October 24
Jefferson Pilot Game of the Week: South Carolina @ LSU
The rage of Muschamp returns as the Gamecocks travel to Death Valley for a sweltering 11:21 kick. South Carolina QB Ryan Hilinski is a tough young player and South Carolina has a few interesting pieces to put around him, although RB Marshawn Lloyd has been lost for the season to a torn ACL. By this time in the season they ought to really know what they have, as should the Tigers, who’ll be coming off what will no doubt be a bruising road game against Florida and may be looking ahead to their Halloween night matchup with longtime West rival Auburn. This screams TRAP GAME, if any on the Tigers’ schedule does. These two haven’t played since the Les Miles-Steve Spurrier era, so this makes for a rather compelling matchup in its current state. The Gamecocks return some talent on defense, especially in the front seven, and if they’re able to get in Myles Brennan’s face early and get him flustered they could make this one interesting. I still like the Bayou Bengals to pull away late and get the W, but not without a couple of flubs from Brennan. LSU 27, South Carolina 17.
WEEK 6: SPOOKY DAY, October 31
Jefferson Pilot Game of the Week: Kentucky @ Missouri
Terry Wilson was lost to the Tigers in Game 2 of the season last year, but he returns this time around in a bid to reclaim his old job and make one more run at the SEC East crown. The Wildcats also return starting RB A.J. Rose, who was second on the team in rushing to Hornung Award winner Lynn Bowden Jr., who was taken in the 3rd round of this year’s NFL draft by the Oakland Raiders. Kentucky has won the last five in this rivalry, although with the defensive talent that Mizzou is returning, they could struggle offensively given the hostile environment. Wilson is sure to have settled back in to his role as signal-caller by this time as well, and the Wildcats will definitely benefit from his experience. I believe they’ll be able to pull away late and take this one from the Tigers. Kentucky 23, Mizzou 14.
WEEK 7: November 7
Jefferson Pilot Game of the Week: Texas A&M @ South Carolina
South Carolina returns, with a chance to play upset once again as the Jimbo Fisher-helmed Aggies come to town. It’s worth noting, historically, that Texas A&M ruined the twilight of Steve Spurrier’s career at South Carolina by beating the top-ten Gamecocks in the opening game of the season (and notably, the first-ever SEC Network game) in 2014, 52-28. It marked the beginning of the end for Spurrier in Columbia. Could the Gamecocks do a similar number on Jimbo Fisher’s career here, with touted senior QB Kellen Mond and a preseason Top-15 Texas A&M team visiting after an open date? It isn’t highly likely, but it’s certainly fun to think about. As much fun as it would be to see, I think Jimbo’s squad gets the W, even though it might be harder than they expected. A&M 31, South Carolina 21.
WEEK 8
Jefferson Pilot Game of the Week: Arkansas at Florida
This one has some interesting storyline potential—Feleipe Franks transferred to Arkansas for the chance at playing time after a season-ending injury because he realized that he’d been outshone by Kyle Trask. Florida has more talent than Arkansas by a vast margin in this game, and they play Vanderbilt the next week, so they’re definitely not looking ahead—Dan Mullen gets to focus his entire game plan on a QB he’s already coached. These two programs were in vastly different states the last time they played in 2016—Arkansas was still in decent shape under Bret Bielema, and won the matchup 31-10 over Jim McElwain’s Florida team; McElwain was gone a year later and Mullen took over the position. We all know what happened to Arkansas, and we don’t have to talk about it. I’ll just show you:
This might be the game I mentioned above where you just give up and fall asleep in the recliner after you eat lunch midway through the second quarter. Gators win going away, 51-24.
WEEK 9
Jefferson Pilot Game of the Week: Kentucky @ Alabama
The Wildcats take a road trip to Tuscaloosa, where they will be large underdogs to a likely nationally-ranked Crimson Tide team with multiple NFL draft picks. The Tide will be looking ahead to the Iron Bowl, however, so that could play for a bit of drama, and the Wildcats have played spoiler before and kept things close in other SEC matchups, most notably knocking off #10 Florida in 2018 (of course, the Wildcats themselves were ranked #14 at the time). Alabama has a potent offense and a talented D, and the Wildcats simply have a lot of moxie, so look for this one to just be a classic rear-end kicking unless something crazy happens. Alabama takes it going away, 42-21.
WEEK 10
Jefferson Pilot Game of the Week: Mississippi State @ Ole Miss
AS GOD INTENDED…
This messy rivalry belongs only on the 11 am Jefferson Pilot broadcast—in 1992, the very first year it was sponsored by Jefferson Pilot, the Egg Bowl was the Thanksgiving Game of the Week, and it bookended the end of what we’ll call the Jefferson Pilot/Lincoln Financial Era in 2007—as well as 2008, the beginning of the Raycom Sports period. To be quite honest, the Egg Bowl is the quintessential Jefferson Pilot game. Two mediocre teams that hate each other’s guts, playing decent football, on a holiday where the tradition is to eat until you feel like you’re going to be sick to your stomach. I don’t think we could honor the legend of Jefferson Pilot any more staunchly than by giving them the Egg.
My case made, this year’s matchup is an intriguing one. Both teams are buoyed by new coaches and offensive systems. MSU has a hotshot grad transfer coming in at QB (KJ Costello), and Ole Miss has a dynamic athlete there as well in John Rhys Plumlee—both with coaches who understand how to utilize their respective talents’ skill sets. If any Egg Bowl could top last year’s fiasco that ended up getting both head coaches fired and that will live in infamy as “The Piss and the Miss”, and even got into the competition as a draft for the new Mississippi state flag, it might be this one.
THE PICK: Ole Miss comes close, but the air raid proves to be too much in the end—Bulldogs 38, Rebels 35.
WEEK 11
Jefferson Pilot Game of the Week: Florida @ Tennessee
This may be a secondary SEC rivalry, not as prominent as Florida-Georgia, or Georgia-South Carolina perhaps, but it’s no less mean. Steve Spurrier once said “you can’t spell Citrus without ‘U-T’” and even as a native of Johnson City, Tennessee, himself, chose to attend Florida and won a Heisman there, then went back to coach and won a national championship. His Florida teams deprived Tennessee fans’ favorite son, Peyton Manning, of ever appearing in the SEC title game or the national championship, although the Volunteers went on to win it all after he graduated, in 1998, with Tee Martin and Peerless Price. Tennessee has only won once in this series since 2004, however, and Florida fans would chuckle at the thought of Volunteer fans considering their program relevant in the SEC at this point, which would certainly infuriate the latter all the more. For Tennessee fans, there is no uglier foe than the Gators, so you can guarantee this one is circled on their schedule. Given Tennessee’s young talent and nasty defense, it could get interesting, but I believe the Gators still have the edge in this one.
THE PICK: Florida edges it out 24-17, but it isn’t easy.
So there you have it folks—a full season of Jefferson Pilot games, for your viewing pleasure. I know I’d be excited with this lineup—maybe we could even commission Travis Tritt to come back and record a new song for the intro music.
BIRD OF THE WEEK
This week’s bird is the loggerhead shrike (Lanius ludovicianus), a predatory songbird. Shrikes are known for their odd eating habits—they “store” uneaten prey (mostly large insects, sometimes small birds or rodents) by impaling it on thorns or barbed wire, returning to eat it later. They are a declining species in the northeastern U.S., for unknown reasons, likely due to pesticides or general changes in habitat, according to Audubon’s Guide to North American Birds. They prefer to hunt from lookout perches—wires, treetops or branches, scrub bushes—and then swoop to the ground to grab whatever prey they are after.
CLASSIC COUNTRY SONG OF THE WEEK
Darlin’ some prisons don’t have walls/ The memory won’t let me go at all/ I found no way out since you’ve been gone/ Some prisons don’t have walls/ Some prisons don’t have walls
Today, August 21, 2020 would be the 82nd birthday of my Twitter account’s current namesake, Kenny Rogers, so it is only right that we feature one of his songs in this week’s edition. This track is from his 1991 album Back Home Again, which was Rogers’ 24th album and his final collaboration with Reprise Records, who had handled many of his prior releases.
Back Home Again did not sell well, and was the first album of Rogers’ in years to not become RIAA-certified in some way. It marked the end of an era in his music. This song wasn’t released as a single or anything either, it’s just one that’s come up in my own casual listening and I enjoyed. It’s classic country heartbreak, the way only Kenny can sing it—the narrator has moved on from a relationship, to freedom, and now he feels trapped by the memory of his past.
The images in the song are simple as well—going for a walk out in the city, watching TV late at night. Easy for anyone listening to fill in with their own experience. Kenny didn’t write his own songs (this one was penned by Mike Dekle and Byron Hill, who also wrote for hitmakers Tracy Byrd and Joe Nichols in the 1990s), and this song is simple and straightforward—as I’ve written before, the most effective kind of lyric.
SLEAZE FACTOR: Zero out of five stars this week—this is just a sad song.
SADNESS FACTOR: Five out of five stars—this is one of the most depressing hooks we’ve covered in the course of this newsletter.
WOULD THIS REALLY HAPPEN FACTOR: Of course. I can’t speak from true personal experience, because I never had a long relationship that ended this way. But an existential truth is that you can run as far away from another person as you want to, but your memories of them will always be there. (Try putting together a GoFundMe for that wall, Steve Bannon!)
Well, that’s all for this week. Thanks for reading, and join me next time for more sports, Southern culture, birds, and music!
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SOURCES (those that remained unlinked)
Goldin, M. (2016, July 12). Southern Football Nostalgia: An Ode to Jefferson Pilot Sports. Retrieved August 20, 2020, from https://www.shakinthesouthland.com/2016/7/12/12128072/southern-football-nostalgia-an-ode-to-jefferson-pilot-sports
Raycom Sports: An Illustrated History. (n.d.). Retrieved August 19, 2020, from https://raycomsportshistory.com/raycom-sports-an-illustrated-history-from-1979-2015/.
Rodengen, J. L., & Hubbard, R. (n.d.). "Jefferson Pilot Financial: A Century of Excellence". Retrieved August 19, 2020.
Wunderlich, D. (2012, August 13). Dear Texas A&M and Missouri: Beware the Jefferson Pilot Games. Retrieved August 19, 2020, from https://www.teamspeedkills.com/2012/8/13/2884298/dear-texas-a-m-and-missouri-beware-the-jefferson-pilot-games.